Life has no well-defined single objective.
My life has been in pain. Having Bipolar Disorder gives many causes, (but also excuses) for my good and bad behaviors. in retrospective view, my life is full of dumb bullshits and misbehaviors and malfunctions of a human being can commit.
So, as a rational person (at least trying to be rational), it is rather rational that my behavior, my thought, and my course of life must be irrational, ironically.
Mean
However, life, especially life with a mental disease cannot be guided by some specific objectives. Not only me but for all lives. We cannot optimize life in such a way we optimize other objective functions we rely on to learn machine learning models. some might be possible but at least not for me. I enjoy, learn, feel anger, love, etc, and most importantly, live in the course of being itself, not the end.
Don’t expect that my life is predictable, and don’t ever think my life has been ruined and cannot be fixed at all. it’s not judged by all means. My life just has to be enjoyed, and lived by me. Don’t forget my life has no purpose other than being “lived” by me.